happy halloween

I swear, I've the best mask. One that hides the deepest emotions. You'll never ever guess. And I won't be the one to tell. Living a lie, sure. Hiding the truth, yehp. But that smile is the only thing keeping me from breaking down whenever I see you.

bella luna

Winter is slowly making it's way into my days. You can feel it with the afternoon chills in the courtyard. You can smell it in the morning air. Winter is here to make it's mark. It seems to just sweep me off my feet. Makes me forget about the world for a second when I close my eyes and take in a deep breath. But that second slips away. The world has a way of never letting you feel too much bigger than it. Being that high above the clouds, it's only fair that you come spiraling back down. I've learned to accept that. I take what I can from any single moment, and go with the flow. But after a moment, I realize where I'm standing. It's that same spot I've been standing in all along. That Alone Spot. The one where you realize you've got everything you've ever wanted in your hands. And yet the one thing you want to work for, and work to receive, doesn't belong in your life. I don't believe in everything happening for a reason. I believe if you want something, take it. hands down. Don't wait around for something if you know you can have it at any point. Where I fault is that I am not wanted in return. This is the night that I make that revalation. However I feel as if I've known that for the past seven months. Whatever the case may be, I am out of denial. I will move past this hopeless situation. Like the shaded flower, it was just never given the chance to bloom. and I am out of the wishing well. In fact I'm stealing all my pennies back. I will move forward. Because I sure as hell am NOT turning back.

find it kind of funny

why is it that the world always seems to crash and burn at the perfect moments. whenever I feel at my highest. when I am finally at peace with myself, and finally have clarity. my whole world is shot to hell. here I go, spiraling down into nothing. and now all I am is confused. confused past the point of no return. and i've just no clue what I'm supposed to do with myself.

there's a first time for everything

I decided I don't need to give myself a reason. I wanted something to happen, so I went for it. That doesn't make me an easy girl, that doesn't mean I'm a whore. It means I'm a normal teen. Things are different this time around. People may not want to think so. But WHO are THEY to judge? They know only the biased information I'm willing to share. They don't know of the guy I fell for seven months ago. They only know about the times he's hurt me.
& I've thrown those memories away. Because I don't dwell. Because I just don't give a damn.

And there I go, trying to give myself another excuse. Well Hello, It's over. I'll do what I want, When I want. Wherever I feel like. Because That's All I care about.

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