My own personal hell.

And this time I'm not letting any witnesses sway me. I'm putting myself through this. Because I'm not sure how I'm supposed to live life. Because I don't know how to work in a relationship. But I know that I wanted him. More than I wanted my boyfriend at the moment. And I'm a teenager. There are no rules for me. I can do whatever I want. The fact that I feel very little remorse about the situation, and that that feeling diminishes with each passing hour, makes me feel like I didn't do anything wrong. I don't fight my feelings anymore. If anything I take the brain and put it into neutral, take the heart and pop it into overdrive. I'm not gonna ignore the urges or the constant battles in my head trying to make me choose between guys. I'm over everything. I'm fine. I'm moving forward. Not sure where that's gonna leave my boyfriend, but I'm over it. Maybe I'm the kind of optimist who deep down knows it's not going to work.