99 red balloons

I don't think I can take this. I've only seen him once since he's been home, but already I'm nervous of what I might not be able to avoid. Trying to contact me is not okay. People are already asking if I'm okay with him here, as if it is such a big deal. I've got a no big deal attitude about everything. But at the end of the day, I'm scared to death. I hate all these other girls that he talks to. And I most definitely hate the fact that he's back. He didn't try to keep in touch with me. And it's not like I was waiting for him or anything, I really wasn't. I just don't want to get sucked back in to this lifestyle of me running to him whenever he calls. And I have a feeling it's what he expects. For once in my life, I want to follow my brain, not my heart.